This week, as I focus on tidying up my Christmas preparations in anticipation of my kids coming home for the holiday, I am faced with the notion that I, too, am a work in progress. As I find myself distracted by conflicting emotions, I am burdened with a sense of gloominess while I work on resolve. I'm an emotional being... one who loves and hurts deeply.
I am a KnitCrate subscriber. The idea of having a package of knitting supplies arrive by subscription to my door is intriguing. Shrouded by my gloomy mood, I twitched my mouth with a sense of initial scrutiny as I opened, unexcitedly and with a heart of complaint, my Knitcrate subscription. Unimpressed with the packaging, I tossed the foiled padded envelope in the trash, then turned to scrutinize the contents... and there it was.
It's amazing to me how often I find myself facing "coincidence" at just the right moment. As I picked up a book tucked into the bi-monthly subscription package, I realized it was an autographed book by Ann Hood. Like Ann Hood, I turned to knitting as a source of dealing with an overwhelming sense of grief and loss after losing our son in 2008. It was not because someone I knew suggested I would enjoy knitting, but her books The Knitting Circle and Comfort A Journey in Grief, that nudged me to making garments with a ball of string and sticks. It became my comfort and my center passion. I dreamed of opening a local yarn shop, joined associations, and began working toward reaching that desire... it became my work in progress.
For the last year and a half, I returned to work, part-time, in the efforts to save start-up costs to launch my dream. As often happens, my work in progress now set aside, I found myself losing hope for my dream, and settling into the "what-is" of going through the motions.
Picking up the autographed book by Ann Hood from my Knitcrate with amazement, I read the first two pages.
"Since that October day, I have met thousands of knitters and heard their stories. Stories of how knitting helped them through all kinds of things that life throws into our paths: divorce, depressions, deaths, chemotherapy, loneliness, despair. But I've also heard stories about the sheer joy of knitting."
And it all came rushing back to me. My reason why.... my dream and, with it, a moment of re-energized excitement in my heart. I realize that (as with my knitting), my life is a work in progress. I need to remember to pick back up what I may set aside for a moment, and finish that which brings me joy.
I'm looking forward to finishing this book from Ann Hood, and I can't wait to knit the project from this month's Knitcrate. I will wear it as a sweet reminder of the vision and dreams I hold in my heart.